Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Confessions Of A…….?

Okay, so I turned twenty late last year and I’m in a bit of a crisis which I hadn’t noticed until a week ago. The name of this blog has become irrelevant and dishonest. It’s gonna be hard letting go of the ‘teen’ though; I kinda thought it made me special…now I’m just another blogger in an endless sea of bloggers. You must be thinking, ‘How pretentious is this guy!’ To be honest the gay east African teen’s point of view is rarely heard, and I am not about to claim that you’ve heard it entirely on this blog. I have always tried to make it clear to people that I do not represent anyone, and that all the opinions voiced on here I do not mention on anyone’s behalf. But after a year and a half of exposing my thoughts and sometimes childish ideologies online I have come to discover that there are many people out there that share my point of view, and others that have instead learnt to embrace that point of view and made it their own. Now that I’m twenty I realize it has brought me immense joy to have encountered all the people I did through this blog and for that I am truly grateful.

I'll be changing the name and URL soon. I'm open to suggestions.

Monday, January 9, 2012

DELUDED MUCH?



















One of the things that amuses me about Ugandans, or should I say, at least the ones I’ve encountered in my lifetime is their blatant inability to acknowledge that there is a problem. Many people have come to this country and called us the happiest people on earth. True, that’s what it looks like. The only way to understand how the Ugandan masses can turn so brutal in an instant is by knowing how we receive problematic situations or things that we do not understand.

Many of our current anti-gay figures years ago were in denial of the fact that homosexuals existed in Uganda, and now we see them everyday frothing at the mouth with uncontrollable disgust and hate towards the homosexual.

I’m currently in a similar situation with my parents. I’m sure they have an inkling about my sexuality but they however choose to ignore it and continue to bring up girlfriends and all that nonsense at the dinner table. The same is happening with my brothers who have come across messages in my phone…but they still continue to act like its all fine, well, all is fine for me, but it shouldn’t be for them. They should have come and said something by now but they continue to act like I’m interested in dating girls. Sometimes it just makes me want to scream at them! They just won’t acknowledge that there is something that needs to be accepted/dealt with.

It all goes to show the negative power of wishful thinking…the mind will believe what it wants to believe. The problem with this though is that when the truth that they’ve so desperately pushed away cannot be contained anymore, in most cases people here will react violently.

Remember the post I did back then about coming out? Remember how confident I was? Well things have happened and I’m not as confident or as delusional anymore. All I can do now is thank God for the fact that I barely live in this country now and that weeks from today I will be, once again, safe and sound in an entirely different social scene, atmosphere, world that I have now fully adapted to.