Wednesday, January 26, 2011

HAPPINESS


Ever get the feeling that God owes us…I mean, first he makes us gay, then he has his followers going around saying its something we chose, as if someone would choose to be a moving target every single day, especially in Africa.

Back then when I thought being gay was a bad thing, I’d ask God why he’d do such a thing to me. Once in a while I’d cry when I was alone and go over and over in my head about how sad and unfortunate my life was…eventually I stopped and realized how much I had going on for me in the non-sexuality department. I was extremely talented compared to my classmates…I was creative, I’d ace tests even though I’d sleep all day in class.  All of a sudden it occurred to me that I might actually be okay, actually better off than most people. I always liked to say to myself; God took 'normal' sexuality away from you and gave you so much more.


In the middle of high school, I discovered the Internet…why did it take so darn long? I was fifteen. I started to look around…and so I found. I found many other people like me. Round wholesome people like myself, everyday people, black, white, Asian, Hispanic, African people. And they were all gay. Suddenly being gay was not bad anymore. God had not compensated anything lacking in me. There was nothing to repair. One day in the holidays I walked to my bathroom mirror and finally gave voice to the words. I AM GAY. I laughed. That silly label. I had always known I liked boys, like since…ever. I had an immense crush on Aladdin as a three year old. I just did not have a word for it. 

Its funny how I thought most gay people were bad looking…like God had just dumped all the rejects into that one box. But I think we all know how contrary that is to the truth. You can’t help but wonder, if God hates fags,…then why are they so darn cute?

One thing I’ve learnt so far is you can either go on and on about how unfair God/life is, or you can choose to simply be happy. Choose to focus on those things that are good in your life…and yes, that includes your beautiful sexuality. You can create bliss for yourself. Happiness is a state of mind and cannot be moved by anything on the outside…be it newspaper outings, or the Kampala heat these days.  

4 comments:

  1. Nice one...u just made my day.

    Sweetp

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  2. Dont put God in this,you are disgusting!God made everything perfect.

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  3. If u a real happy 'gay', why dont u show ur face in the open?

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  4. @Anon: Exactly! God made everything perfect, including my sexuality. Try and get the drift instead of whipping your ignorance back and forth...its embarassing.

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