Last week I was walking out of one of our malls and behold, there he was. Martin Ssempa dressed in black prancing around with earphone wires and a silver chain around his neck.
I am not one to launch personal attacks for no reason, so trust me when I say he is an actual D-Bag. He was smiling uncontrollably at nothing and nodding at everyone that passed, as if to affirm their questions as to whether this was the mighty Martin Ssempa they were seeing before them. The things active homophobia does to the human mind! Actually I'm sure I was the only one that noticed him as Ssempa. Everyone else saw a middle aged man in a midlife crisis nodding and half-waving, so they couldn’t help but stare. Believe it or not, not that many people know the man.
Two weeks ago I was talking to a cousin of mine who is a Law student in Makerere University. A friend called her and they went into a chat about something called Prime Time. The light bulb in my head went off and I remembered where I heard it, it was in an article about Mr. EatDaPooPoo himself. Every Saturday he holds some kind of ‘fun’ abstinence rally/ fellowship at the University’s poolside which I found out is largely attended by MUK students, some who go majorly to pick up dates for the night out. When she was off the phone I asked her about prime time and Ssempa. In the end I knew of how he publicly ridiculed an absent law lecturer for her stance on LGBT rights. This lecturer is rumored to be gay although she has never mentioned it. Funny how these people think anyone that supports gay rights or does not have a problem with gays is gay.
I asked my cousin if she knew about the Eat Da Poo Poo video, she didn’t, most people don’t. So I showed it to her on you tube. She laughed, but it was more a laugh of someone that found him funny as a pastor, not someone that thought he was making a fool of himself in an outlandish manner, I’d know, I’ve seen that laugh a hundred times. At the end of the vid she said; “That man can really make you hate homosexuals”. I’ve always thought the bare statement that people like Ssempa and Bahati generate hate was overrated, but I realized that day that many of the Ugandans I’ve met are head nodders…a strange looking white man comes from oceans away and tells them that homosexuals were the driving force of the Nazi movement and they receive it as dignified truth. A “pastor’ tells them that only offertory of 1000sh and above is allowed, and they stay in there like reprogrammable robots, major reason why Pentecostal churches are big business here. On many occasions in school, due to my fear of losing an argument, I’d just cook up a “fact”, put it out there and own it, and voila, an argument won. Anyone that is eloquent, articulate and charismatic can easily convince these types of people, and they are many in Uganda. Whatever caused the large lack of personal opinion here, who knows. I’ll give you my take another time.
Today however I’m seeing pastor Male arrested in the papers. I hear Ssempa has fled! Haha! He’s on the run! The hunter becomes the hunted. I gots to say, I’m totally loving this new look on Ssempa, it’s so Bigot-chic and the color he’s wearing for the season is irony. They both deserve what’s coming to them, these two. All I hope is that these jerks will be exposed for the liars they really are. It’s Karma bitch!