Friday, December 31, 2010

*HELLO 2011*

         Used all my fireworks on the repeal of DADT...You'll just have to settle for confetti and a clock.

In a couple minutes it will be my one else's!!! Watch this space.
Fine, maybe I can squeeze you guys in.....its our year!
Here's to being young, undisputed, out of control, loud, and happy...even when the times got rough,...or stupid.
Heres to being fabulous.
Happy New Year!!!

Thursday, December 30, 2010


"I cannot prevent anyone from getting angry, or mad, or frustrated. I can only hope that they’ll turn that anger and frustration and madness into something positive, so that two, three, four, five hundred will step forward, so the gay doctors will come out, the gay lawyers, the gay judges, gay bankers, gay architects … I hope that every professional gay will say ‘enough’, come forward and tell everybody, wear a sign, let the world know. Maybe that will help."


Thursday, December 23, 2010


Last week I was walking out of one of our malls and behold, there he was. Martin Ssempa dressed in black prancing around with earphone wires and a silver chain around his neck.

I am not one to launch personal attacks for no reason, so trust me when I say he is an actual D-Bag. He was smiling uncontrollably at nothing and nodding at everyone that passed, as if to affirm their questions as to whether this was the mighty Martin Ssempa they were seeing before them. The things active homophobia does to the human mind! Actually I'm sure I was the only one that noticed him as Ssempa. Everyone else saw a middle aged man in a midlife crisis nodding and half-waving, so they couldn’t help but stare. Believe it or not, not that many people know the man.

Two weeks ago I was talking to a cousin of mine who is a Law student in Makerere University. A friend called her and they went into a chat about something called Prime Time. The light bulb in my head went off and I remembered where I heard it, it was in an article about Mr. EatDaPooPoo himself. Every Saturday he holds some kind of ‘fun’ abstinence rally/ fellowship at the University’s poolside which I found out is largely attended by MUK students, some who go majorly to pick up dates for the night out. When she was off the phone I asked her about prime time and Ssempa. In the end I knew of how he publicly ridiculed an absent law lecturer for her stance on LGBT rights. This lecturer is rumored to be gay although she has never mentioned it. Funny how these people think anyone that supports gay rights or does not have a problem with gays is gay.

I asked my cousin if she knew about the Eat Da Poo Poo video, she didn’t, most people don’t. So I showed it to her on you tube. She laughed, but it was more a laugh of someone that found him funny as a pastor, not someone that thought he was making a fool of himself in an outlandish manner, I’d know, I’ve seen that laugh a hundred times. At the end of the vid she said; “That man can really make you hate homosexuals”. I’ve always thought the bare statement that people like Ssempa and Bahati generate hate was overrated, but I realized that day that many of the Ugandans I’ve met are head nodders…a strange looking white man comes from oceans away and tells them that homosexuals were the driving force of the Nazi movement and they receive it as dignified truth. A “pastor’ tells them that only offertory of 1000sh and above is allowed, and they stay in there like reprogrammable robots, major reason why Pentecostal churches are big business here.  On many occasions in school, due to my fear of losing an argument, I’d just cook up a “fact”, put it out there and own it, and voila, an argument won. Anyone that is eloquent, articulate and charismatic can easily convince these types of people, and they are many in Uganda. Whatever caused the large lack of personal opinion here, who knows. I’ll give you my take another time.

Today however I’m seeing pastor Male arrested in the papers. I hear Ssempa has fled! Haha! He’s on the run! The hunter becomes the hunted. I gots to say, I’m totally loving this new look on Ssempa, it’s so Bigot-chic and the color he’s wearing for the season is irony. They both deserve what’s coming to them, these two. All I hope is that these jerks will be exposed for the liars they really are. It’s Karma bitch!


In Uganda we don’t have Broadway or Opera, so what do all the artsy Ugandans do, you ask? We go see the annual cantata at Watoto churchEvery year they put together this spectacular Christmas production which is shockingly free, and people, many who have not even seen the inside of a church the whole year, converge there and watch in awe and excitement. This year it was African themed and boy did they deliver. The show has been on all week at 6pm and 8pm and it stops tomorrow. And yes…I was there yesterday with my little entourage, each year they surprise me more. Beautiful lighting, magnificent voices, awesome choreography and good acting, it’s most definitely worth a watch. I know of people that go see it over and over, but that's just plain mad. See the opening act here.

Happy Holidays!

Sunday, December 19, 2010


                              This is a sad sad day, a sad day for bigots and homophobes, and that makes me smile. Woke up this morning to find the web abuzz with the repeal of DADT and I was happy. Guess John McCain can crawl back into whatever hole he came from.Can't that man shut up already! Even in the face of defeat he has to keep muttering inanities. Blubber, blubber blubber! Nothing worse than a loser that just won't keep quiet.

Despite the fact that repeal was pretty inevitable, the possibility was all so surreal to me before. But now it’s happened. As a gay Ugandan, year in, year out I see homophobia succeed here, but this is a win for the gay community all over the world, and I can’t help but celebrate. And yeah I am obsessed with gay rights in the US, I admit it; it’s my way to distract myself from the unfairness that’s going on here, but you have to agree with me that America sets the pace for the rest of the world when it comes to LGBT rights. Most people here don’t know that gay people have been serving freely in Australia and Canada, but everyone knows about America. If you can’t be happy for yourself, be happy for someone else. One day that will be us, or even better, we’ll just dive right in for full rights at once..……I wish.

Friday, December 17, 2010


So I’m at my favourite day time joint in town and I just got an Email from a gay blogger I respect too much, I have laughed my ass off…I can’t even find it. This is the highlight of my day! I have always absolutely loved how he criticizes and analyzes things on his blog and ability to read deep into situations, but little did I know I’d soon be the victim of this.

The E-mail goes as follows;

Hi *******: 
I have looked at your blog and think the following:
1. You cannot be a teenager
2. Evidence from your blog suggests that you are not in Uganda
3. You are likely not even a black person, let alone a Ugandan
Which brings one to the question: who are you?

While your [very adult] criticism is recognized, I think that writing under the guise of a teenager doesn't help our cause for the obvious implications that one will not go into here. 
Which segues to the other question: Who is this person and what is his/her agenda?
And yes, the ambiguity about your gender is not a mistake; I am not sure whether you are a man or a woman.
Do you want to explain what the true position is?


All I can tell you is he’s a gay blogger, period! It’s the first time I’ve gotten an email let alone comment of this sort! I haven’t yet even replied because I don’t know what to make of this. I feel partly flattered, partly surprised and partly offended. Offended because clearly someone out there thinks Ugandan teens are incapable of writing good blogs, or writing at all…well, he’s not alone, because I also think the same, I like to think I’m the only one that even has a blog. If you’re reading this and you write for the New Vision teen section, this may be my chance to tell you………YOU SUCK!

I’d really like to know the things that make me seem un-Ugandan to this person…how exactly do Ugandans write? This is so ironic because here I am fighting to prove I’m from a country that I so desperately want to cut all ties to. Oh, and I’m most likely not a black person? Sounds like one of those High School brats that kept saying because I listen to some alternative, I’m an oreo; black on the outside, but white on the inside. Bullsh*#! Do I really have to fill my blog with “Choka Banange’s” and “Wabula’s” before I’m considered Ugandan? Suddenly I’m reminded of people that always say I don’t seem Ugandan on first sight. I was at the police station sometime back to pick my car that was impounded…Okay, fine it was my Dad’s car, but I got it impounded, and those clueless police officers kept asking me whether I’m from South Africa, I told them Mauritius. As a matter of fact, every time someone called me Ugandan in school, I’d tell them not to call me that…I’d say, I’m just me. Not Ugandan, not African, not Black, not a teenager, just me. Not because I’m ashamed of my country, but because with being called Ugandan, so many other things come to mind that are not necessarily us. For example, I’m not homophobic like most Ugandans. I’m actually gay. To each label; American, European, tall, short, more labels are attached.

On the other hand I’m flattered because someone whose writing I so admire thinks my blog is too seemingly adult. That’s one point for me right? Despite all this I still adore this person, he's pretty awesome I must admit.

I feel like I kinda just started this blog abruptly without introducing myself to you, which I believe has been the cause for the above situation. Major reason for that is I hate introductions; I always want to jump right into things. So here goes:

I’m eighteen, turning nineteen in a week, can’t wait! Both my parents are Ugandan. My Dad’s a lawyer. I finished High School in June this year. And yes, I know the government schools here end in December, but I was in an International school, well, for the last half of high school. I won’t tell you though whether I did the British or American curriculum because I’d risk outing myself (Kampala’s a small place). I’m leaving for University/College next year, though I haven’t quite chosen where, since I was accepted everywhere that I applied. Don’t mean to brag.
Oh, and did I mention I’m gay? That would automatically make me male. So, surprise!, to everyone that thought I was a thirty year old Ugandan lesbian writing about her teen years.

I’ve got to send a reply now.


Tuesday, December 14, 2010


First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.


Friday, December 10, 2010


Could this be the new face of evil?

So I’m sure that by now all of you have heard of how David Bahati made a fool of himself on the Rachel Maddow Show (love her) about a day ago. I’m always cringing when one of our politicians is being interviewed on international programs, so embarrassing. Have you heard how they answer the questions fired at them? I know. Thank God most of it is on radio shows. Bahati was the worst of them, and I think he’s sticking with that award for a long time, well of course unless they decide to interview Martin Eat Da Poo Poo Ssempa. He can find comfort in that.

Bahati’s interview really was a replica of what we see and hear from him and every other anti gay public figure in Uganda on everyday basis, except now it is out for all to see, on a wider stage…talk about washing our dirty laundry in public. Oh the horror! Bahati kept going round and round in circles when answering Rachel. Par exemple;

Rachel: What will happen to gay Ugandans if this is passed what do you expect gays to do? Will they flee or spend life in prison. If Homosexuality is punishable by life …what will happen to gays in Uganda will they flee or become straight – what do you expect to happen?
BaH8We don’t believe it’s a human right in Uganda. If we make it a crime, then anybody who will be engaged in this will face the rule of law and we will protect the children.
He is adhering to the time honored tactic of the 5 D's; Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive and Dodge. He didn't answer a single question directly. Lies and obfuscation are the only refuge of the bigoted, as one of the commenters mentioned. And yeah, of course he played the recruitment card. When asked about evidence of recruitment, he said something bordering on ‘Oh yes I can tell you, it’s a fact, it’s a fact because it is happening and we know it is happening because it is a fact, it is not a myth. It is a fact that people who do not believe in homosexuality know.’ Oh how hilarious. I’m amused at how he says the “people who do not believe in homosexuality.” Believe??? Homosexuality is not something to be believed in, it is just a thing. It’s like saying I don’t believe in that escalator, while seating at Mokka Terrace in Nakumatt, or saying I don’t believe in weather…there’s nothing to believe or not to believe in, it’s there! Period!!! Bahati’s utterances are very typical of many Ugandans that choose to bury their heads in the political sands of self righteousness, people who ignore all reason and choose to remain blinded by the curse of bigotry.

I don’t really know where the idea of recruitment came from…oh wait, I do. Remember Anita Bryant and her pals? Well it seems that ideology has remained in the minds of the anti gay evangelicals that have followed…some of whom came to Uganda about two years ago to spread their hate. This recruitment thing seems to be something that’s just there to veil personal homophobia. Using children to justify your hatred towards a minority group has been a tactic bigots have used for years to justify their prejudices.

The more you think of the idea of recruitment the more ridiculous it gets. High schools here are structured in a way that outsiders cannot get in and the closest you can get to seeing the outside world is visitation/open day. I cannot even imagine someone getting into Namilyango College or SMACK and recruiting those burly figured boys, not even in my own High School that was not as strict on visitors. Or even the primary schools, regardless of whether they’re day or boarding. I have not heard any Ugandan parent come forward saying their six year old kid came home and told them of how a strange man came to class and told them it is okay for Jack to marry John…and you know how honest kids can be. In fact technically that is not recruitment at all, nonetheless, this still doesn't happen in Uganda. How is it even done? What do these recruiters look like? Do they have rainbow uniforms? Do they carry around notebooks to list down their new recruits? Or IPads, they are being sent 15 million dollars after all, that should come with a couple IPads right? How do I get one? I was really looking forward to understanding all this when Bahati promised to send proof of recruitment to Rachel Maddow’s inbox, proof that she said she would gladly air on her show and that she is still waiting on by the way. Any non biased, educated Ugandan with a brain can see that these allegations are flawed and fabricated. But then again the majority of us are biased, and many among us aren’t that well educated, even if they went through school. How else does one explain Bahati or Ssempa?

Mrs. Maddow (Can I call her that?) also mentioned how the American psychological association declared that homosexuality is inborn and condemns any forms of attempted reparative therapy. Bahati then went on to respond that we (Ugandans) have our own views of dealing with these things different from America. Now that was a laugh! We don’t even have an active psychological association, or one that I have heard of. Please enlighten me if I'm wrong. Suddenly I'm reminded of what I normally hear from anti gay Ugandans when they are told about international pressure to stop the bill; ‘they (International community) should not undermine Uganda’s supremacy.’ Bahati’s statement is a classic case of what I like to call East African ignor-arrogance! What exactly are our ways of dealing with things? Wake up and smell the bacon people! We’re in the third world. Rwanda also had its own views and look what happened…a nation’s history scarred so much you can actually still see the effects of it today. Why weren’t the FBI Officials who came in the aftermath of the bomb blasts told to go back, because we Ugandans have our own ways of dealing with things? Send back all the medicine that’s being shipped in! We Ugandans can use our herbs after all, even for cancer! So far all I can see that our way of doing things has brought us is more potholes,, corruption, increased HIV rates, collapsing buildings and Journalism Graduates that settle for pit latrine publishing. Most Ugandans will shun me for saying this and say I’m unpatriotic, but it is the hard truth that we need to face in order to move forward freely. China and Russia can afford to pretend they have their own way of doing things when they actually know every country needs the rest; Britain can, the Aussies can, but sorry, not Uganda.

In all this, Bahati came across as a pretty decent guy, a polite monster – that’s what they’re calling him. In spite his poor debating skills and irrelevance, he was kind, which is probably why Rachel just couldn’t give him the Cohen-style smack down he so truly deserved. I also realized how he bears a striking resemblance to Idi Amin Dada. Weird. And his almost red eyes, with their extremely different world view...combine these with his strong forceful accent and you can render me catatonic around him. 
Still a part of me thought this could be just a guy who due to his inevitable mindset has found himself on the wrong side of history. Perhaps that’s what Rachel saw too.

Friday, December 3, 2010


As gay people, many of us tend to think we are special or unique for the wrong reason. We tend to think we are unique because we are gay. Well sorry, you're not! Some of us even tend to play the victim all the time because of this...Truth is that our being gay is the most minute, most uninteresting aspect of who we are.

I am gay. But I can sing, I can draw, I can run. I can write an excellent speech, I can give an excellent speech. I can adjust well to different working environments. I am smart, creative and innovative. I’m a ray of sunshine, and this country needs me. A snob? I think not! I just don’t do modesty…when I truly am something I say it! I don’t beat around the bush waiting to be flattered. My gayness remains insignificant against all these awesome things that I am or that I can do. Who I sleep around with or who I want to do is like a grain of sand on Kampala Road.

Unfortunately in Uganda it is hard to see this. There are big repercussions for being gay here. It is better to be a murderer than to be gay in this sea of toxic homophobia, and this all creates an illusion that our being gay is very very important. Suddenly it starts to seem like our entire worlds revolve around our sexuality. I must admit I tend to think this sometimes; occasionally I even start to think my coming out should be some Grande mardi gras type event. It’s because some people take a peculiar interest in my sex life, which FYI is dull of recent.

We have people who make it their everyday mission to make our lives a living hell, and they do it with unimaginable zeal. Are they paid??? I just don’t understand how someone can wake up in the morning and think of another plot to make life for gay people in Kampala more difficult than it already is. Ever thought about how some Ugandan woke up and came up with the bizarre tale of how gays are recruiting school children in hundreds of thousands. Gosh! People really are out to make us look bad even when it means fabricating things that are clearly untrue in the mind of any sensible person. Have people no conscience?

The names of Martin Ssempa, Giles Muhame, David Bahati will forever be etched in the books of history, or Wikipedia at least, not for trying to protect Ugandan culture like their delusional minds are telling them, but for going against the tide of what is right and just for all human beings regardless of race, religion or sexual orientation…because like it or not, someday in this country, there will be a gay pride parade. Someday in this country tolerance and acceptance will be taught in the classroom and so will the names of these vile repulsive men be mentioned in a history class somewhere as people that tried to oppress another group of people simply for being who they are. Uganda will one day wake up and realize it has bigger problems than two men or two women being in love.

Still, regardless of the fact that Ssempa and every other Ugandan that is in that mindset believe our gayness is the most important thing in the country, we should not be sucked into that black hole; we should focus on those things that are unique to each of us as an individual, we need to focus on those things about us that can help this nation (If unlike me you give a damn about it).
We must focus on the things that can truly make us shine like the stars that we are, all the while waiting for the day that every other Ugandan can open their eyes as well and see what actually is important.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010